The Desert

I feel like so far this blog is a little disjointed, I am still trying to get a rhythm, to pick through my ideas for the right ones to post about.  But during church this morning this idea took root and I knew I needed to share it.  The pastor spoke of Luke chapter 4, the temptation of Jesus.  At first I thought this would be straight forward and boring, Jesus is tempted three times and stands strong, not giving into temptation.  Instead I discovered something new about what God is doing in my life when I was scared I was lost.

Have you ever taken a walk through a desert? I want to say I have not, but we live in the middle of one and nature walks through the desert are part of our life. Three years ago I really found the Lord in my heart.  Surrounded by the comfort of my brother, sister-in-law, nieces and my parents, I bloomed into a child of God.  Then we got orders for a new duty station, Georgia! We were very excited, four hours from Disney World (very important :) in a lush green land and a new experience.  Then everything changed when the Army changed their minds and threw us into the middle of the dessert, dry, hot and as far away from my family as we could get without leaving the country.

A walking path not far from our house, through the local mountain.

This desert I am living in has two levels, there is the desert that separates me from my family and what feels like the rest of the world and there is the spiritual desert that separates me from God.  In reality no amount of land can truly separate me from my family and as long as I seek God, nothing can separate Him from me.  But that does not mean it is not a challenge.  

I only realized I was in a spiritual desert this morning at church, a desert where I cannot hear God and am not really sure where He wants me to go. 

Should we have more children?

Should we put the kids in public school? or continue to home school?

Should I get a full time job and become a two income family?

Should I finish my education degree? or something different?

How can I serve in a ministry?

What church should we be apart of?

Should we foster or adopt?

Just where should I focus my prayers and studies?

Where is the Lord leading me? What does he have planned? Even through the Daniel fast I have struggled to hear the Lord's voice, I am in a desert, dry and hot and lost without a drop of water to drink. Very disjointed on how to use my life best to glorify Him.  

 He planted Himself in my heart and helped the growth of my spiritual self through friends and family in Maryland, but then it was time for me to take my own steps and that is what this desert is for.  Stop leaning on others and start leaning solely on Him.  He put me in this desert and he will lead me out.  I am still not sure where I will come out at, what I will be when I grow up, but I will continue to put my faith in God and trust He loves me and will put me where I will be happiest and most fulfilled.